i wondered to myself if you would ask me if i'm alright..
about yesterday.
but no, you didn't.
you just couldn't see it, could you?
that little tinge of sadness within me.
we were out, along with your friends.
well yes we have had some fun.
but there's one thing i hated.
your refusal to listen.
sometimes it's on purpose i know it, sometimes it isn't.
i was used to it, i got over it as quickly as i could.
bus ride home, topics seem to be getting lesser.
everything seemingly seem less sincere.
i asked which stop you wanted to alight.
i knew that you wouldn't want to walk the longer way.
i just tried asking, and maybe if you agreed.
i would feel happier.
something wasn't there.
the warmth wasn't there.
as we bid goodbye, i wish there would be a little something more.
i miss those forehead kisses which seems rare now.
gave each other goodbye hugs, i turned away wanting to head home.
you held me back, i was happy for a very very brief moment.
i thought you were gonna hug me one last time and asked me if i'm alright.
opps sorry, it's just that i had forgotten to pass you your things you bought earlier on.
i quickly said bye and headed the direction for home.
i didn't want to look into your eyes because i'm afraid something like yesterday will happen.
but the point is..
you didn't know what happened last night.
on a happier note, i came home, looked at myself in the mirror for a few seconds and told myself everything's gonna be alright, it will be.
well, it sucks to be me because i always look happy and strong.
i always appear to care less for things.
the truth is, im fragile and i tend to feel alot of things.
and when i go to sleep feeling unhappy, i wake up feeling unhappy too.
all in all, im just disappointed.
sometimes, there's just so much unhappiness in me i just don't know how to show.
so many things i want to express but i suck at expressing.
everything might just turn out to be a mess.
even if i want to show it, i don't know who to turn to.
i hate change.
i miss us.
the ones that we used to be.
but pamela, the only thing that is constant is change.
and the only love that will never change, is our parents' love.
goodnight.